Anxiety and Stress
Workplace and Burnout
Why Can’t I Switch Off After Work? Work Stress, Burnout and Career Uncertainty
You check a work message while making dinner. Nobody has asked you to reply tonight, but leaving it unanswered feels uncomfortable. You start composing a response in your head. By the time you sit down to eat, you are thinking about tomorrow.
Or perhaps the phone is not the problem. You can leave it alone, but still spend the evening replaying a meeting, anticipating criticism or wondering how much longer you can keep doing this job.
When someone asks how work is going, you say, “Busy.” Explaining the rest would take longer.
Whether you are working in your home country or living elsewhere in Europe, work stress can become difficult to separate from the rest of life. You may be meeting deadlines and keeping up appearances while having less energy for almost everything outside work.
Online therapy can be one way to explore what is happening. You do not need to arrive knowing whether you are burned out, need a different job or simply need something to change.
Why can’t I switch off after work, even when I’m exhausted?
Being tired does not necessarily make it easy to stop thinking.
You might be trying to prevent tomorrow’s problems: remembering an unfinished task, checking whether someone replied, rehearsing a conversation you do not want to have. Sometimes thinking about work feels more responsible than putting it aside.
Research uses the term psychological detachment to describe mentally disengaging from work during non-work time. It does not mean becoming indifferent to your job. It means having periods when work is not occupying your attention.
A meta-analysis of 91 independent samples found that greater detachment was associated with less exhaustion, better sleep and greater wellbeing. These associations do not prove that switching off alone prevents burnout or that everyone can detach equally easily (Wendsche & Lohmann-Haislah, 2017).
If you are struggling, the question is not simply, “Why am I bad at relaxing?”
It may be worth asking:
- Is there more work than I can reasonably finish?
- What do I expect will happen if I am unavailable?
- Have mistakes or delayed replies previously had consequences?
- Am I trying to solve something that needs an actual conversation or decision?
- Is worry also following me into other parts of life?
Different answers call for different kinds of support. A relaxation exercise cannot resolve an unmanageable workload, although it may help you get through a difficult evening.
When being available becomes part of the job
Sometimes the pressure is explicit: a manager expects answers at night, or urgent requests regularly arrive just before you finish.
Sometimes nobody says anything. You notice who replies quickly, who stays late and who gets praised for being dependable. Eventually, you begin checking before anyone asks.
Researchers describe workplace telepressure as preoccupation with, and an urge to respond quickly to, work-related messages. It is a research concept, not a diagnosis, and it does not explain every difficulty switching off (Barber & Santuzzi, 2015).
You may recognise the experience without needing the terminology: you are off duty, but do not quite feel free to be unavailable.
What about the right to disconnect?
European discussions about the right to disconnect recognise that time off is not only an individual responsibility.
Eurofound’s research in selected workplaces in Belgium, France, Italy and Spain found that policies needed practical implementation, including attention to workload and workplace expectations. A written rule alone did not settle the problem. The findings were not representative of every European worker and did not establish that the policies caused better health (Eurofound, 2023).
Your legal position depends on where you work and your circumstances. Check your employer’s policies and seek appropriate local employment advice if needed.
Therapy can help you consider how to respond, but it should not make you responsible for fixing a workplace that repeatedly undermines its own boundaries.
Is this burnout, or does something else need attention?
Perhaps you feel exhausted, increasingly detached from the work or less effective than you used to be. Perhaps you still care, but find yourself reacting with cynicism because caring has become tiring.
WHO describes burnout as an occupational phenomenon associated with chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It involves exhaustion, increased distance or cynicism towards work, and reduced professional efficacy. It is not classified as a medical condition (World Health Organization, 2019).
That distinction matters because “burnout” should not become a label that stops further questions.
Persistent low mood, loss of interest, substantial anxiety, sleep difficulties or physical symptoms may need assessment in their own right. You can also be distressed by working conditions without having a mental health disorder.
You do not need to identify the correct explanation yourself. Describing what has changed is enough to begin: how you sleep, what you dread, what you have stopped enjoying or how much effort ordinary tasks now require.
New or concerning physical symptoms should not automatically be attributed to stress.
What if I don’t know whether to stay or change careers?
“Just leave” is easy advice when someone else will be paying the rent.
You may need the income, value parts of the role or have worked hard to reach your position. Leaving might involve losing flexibility, starting again professionally or accepting financial uncertainty.
Staying can have costs too.
Career uncertainty becomes particularly uncomfortable when you feel you should already know what you want. You might keep opening job listings without applying, compare yourself with people who seem settled, or search for a completely different career late at night.
A useful starting point is to make the question smaller.
Instead of “What should I do with my life?”, consider:
- What is difficult about this particular role?
- What would need to change for staying to become workable?
- What do I want to retain from my current work?
- Which alternatives have I investigated, rather than imagined?
- What practical information would help me decide?
Therapy may help you explore fear, priorities and repeated patterns in decision-making. It should not prescribe resignation, promotion or a career change as the psychologically correct answer.
Career guidance, financial planning or employment advice may also be useful. These address questions that therapy alone cannot answer.
When changing jobs also means rethinking life abroad
For some people, changing work also raises the question of where to live.
Perhaps you moved for the job. Your partner’s plans, housing or residence arrangements may be connected to it. You might have good reasons to stay in the country but few reasons to remain in the role, or the reverse.
There can also be pressure to make the move “worth it.” Admitting that you are unhappy may feel awkward when people elsewhere assume you are doing well.
Not everyone living abroad feels this way. Some people feel settled and well supported. Others enjoy much of their life but find particular decisions harder because several things are connected.
Therapy can help separate those strands.
Do you want to leave the job, the city or the circumstances you are currently in? What support would make staying more manageable? What would returning or moving elsewhere actually involve?
Where decisions affect immigration status, housing or employment rights, obtain current advice from a qualified source. If a deadline or safety issue needs attention, do not postpone it until you feel emotionally certain.
What can online therapy help with, and what needs to change at work?
WHO identifies excessive workload, low control, job insecurity, discrimination and conflicting work–home demands as mental health risks. Its guidance includes organisational changes as well as individual support (World Health Organization, 2022).
That is important context for therapy.
The purpose should not be to make you endlessly adaptable to circumstances that are harming you. It may be to understand what you can influence, what requires support from others and what choices are realistically available.
Depending on your needs and the clinician’s approach, therapy may involve:
- Understanding the situations that keep worry going.
- Responding differently to self-criticism or repeated mental rehearsal.
- Preparing for conversations about workload or availability.
- Exploring how work is affecting relationships and daily life.
- Clarifying priorities during a career transition.
- Identifying whether another assessment or service is needed.
Sometimes a session is less about learning a new technique and more about being specific: “I don’t want this level of responsibility,” or “I’m afraid that asking for less will change how people see me.”
Those statements do not dictate your next step. They give you something clearer to work with.
What if changing technology is part of the pressure?
You may also be adjusting to new systems, AI-assisted workflows or changing expectations about your role.
For you, the difficulty might be checking automated outputs, learning tools while keeping up with existing work or wondering what skills will matter next. Someone else may find the same changes useful.
If changes at work are affecting your sense of control or career direction, they belong in the conversation.
Does online therapy work for work-related anxiety?
There is credible evidence for some forms of remote treatment, but “online therapy” is not one uniform intervention.
A systematic review and meta-analysis of 54 randomised trials involving 5,463 adults found moderate-certainty evidence of little to no difference between therapist-guided remote CBT and in-person CBT on the main outcomes studied. The trials covered several mental and physical health conditions and included different remote formats, not only video appointments (Zandieh et al., 2024).
This supports remote CBT as a reasonable option for many people. It does not prove that every online approach works equally well, that therapy resolves workplace problems or that a particular provider will suit everyone.
CBT explores connections between thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Thoughts are considered in context, including realistic concerns and useful ways to respond, not on the assumption that distress always comes from inaccurate thinking.
Appropriate assessment, relevant clinical experience and agreed treatment goals still matter.
How do I choose an online therapist while living in Europe?
Start with the concern you want help with, not only the convenience of an available appointment.
Ask about the clinician’s experience with work stress, anxiety, burnout concerns or career transitions. Find out how they would approach your situation and whether online care is suitable.
Before booking, clarify:
- Qualifications and relevant professional registration.
- Whether the provider can appropriately work with you where you will physically attend sessions.
- Fees, scheduling and cancellation arrangements.
- Confidentiality limits and how records and communications are handled.
- What happens if you need urgent or local support.
Tell the provider where you will physically attend sessions, including if you travel or relocate. Cross-border appointments depend on the requirements that apply to the clinician and the client’s location; availability should be confirmed before therapy begins.
Consider your setting as well. A shared flat, workplace account or work laptop may not provide the privacy you expect. Confidentiality is a professional responsibility, but applicable legal and safety exceptions should be explained before treatment begins.
If an employer is paying for or arranging your care, ask what information, if any, will be shared with them, including attendance or reporting arrangements. Do not assume that the employer receives clinical details, or that no information is shared; establish the actual arrangement.
A therapist to consider on Thera
If work stress, difficulty switching off or career uncertainty is what brings you to therapy, Penelope Kanistra’s profile may be a relevant starting point.
Her background includes occupational psychology and work with professionals facing workplace stress, leadership pressure and career transitions. Before booking, confirm that her approach fits your needs and that she can provide care while you are in your current country.
You can ask questions before deciding whether to continue. A therapist’s profile can indicate relevant experience; the first conversation helps you explore the fit.
When should I seek additional help?
Consider an assessment if difficulties persist, worsen or significantly affect sleep, relationships, work or basic self-care. Seek help sooner if you feel unsafe, are worried about substance use or are having thoughts of self-harm.
Depending on your needs, primary care, psychiatric assessment, occupational health, practical advice or workplace changes may be appropriate alongside, or instead of, therapy.
If you have injured yourself, taken an overdose or are unsure whether you need medical treatment, seek urgent medical advice. If there is immediate danger, you cannot keep yourself safe, or you think you may act on thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, contact emergency services or go to the nearest emergency department.
In the EU, 112 connects you with emergency services free of charge. Elsewhere, use the emergency number where you are located. Thera is not a crisis intervention or emergency medical service; do not wait for a booking response when urgent help is needed.
You can start before you know what needs to change
You may decide to stay in your job. You may eventually leave. You may discover that the decision is not the first thing that needs attention.
For now, there might be an evening you would like to spend without rehearsing tomorrow, a conversation you need help preparing for, or a pattern you are tired of managing alone.
If you would like support with that, you can explore Penelope Kanistra’s approach and booking information.
“I’m keeping up, but this is taking too much out of me” is a reasonable place to begin.
This article provides general information, not an individual assessment, treatment recommendation or legal advice.
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